[en] Understanding Engineers
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take One</h3>
<p>Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"<br />
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."<br />
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."</p>
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take Two</h3>
<p>To the optimist, the glass is half full.<br />
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.<br />
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.</p>
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take Three (my personal favorite)</h3>
<p>A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.<br />
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"<br />
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"<br />
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him."<br />
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"<br />
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."</p>
<p>The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."<br />
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."<br />
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"</p>
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take Four</h3>
<p>What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?<br />
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.</p>
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take Five</h3>
<p>The Graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"<br />
The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"<br />
The Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"<br />
The Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"</p>
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take Six</h3>
<p>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.<br />
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."<br />
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."<br />
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"</p>
<h3>Understanding Engineers - Take Seven</h3>
<p>Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it.<br />
Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.</p>
<p>Via <a href="http://groups.google.com/group/EestecNS">EESTEC LC-NS Google group</a></p>